A Weighty Issue

Last week’s Q&A on Boundless was a challenge to answer. The man writing the question had dated his wonderful, beautiful, godly girlfriend for a year. The only trouble is that he couldn’t get past the fact that she was overweight. He wondered if I’d write more candidly about how my appearance affected my relationship with Steve. And how we talked, or didn’t, about it during our romance.

I thought it was a great opportunity to address an issue that I suspect is heavy on the minds of many single women. And my answer has generated a lot of responses.

MJ, a married man, wrote,

“I LOVED [your reply] to the guy who’s near-perfect girlfriend was too chubby for him. When I prayed over my wife last night I thanked him that I didn’t leave Baylor University without Julie, determined to find a supermodel who loved Jesus.”

AJ, a single woman, had this to say,

“The article was a good reminder that love is selfless and also gave me courage to be a healthier me in a non-condeming way.”

That was much like what DN wrote,

“I’m overweight and have a lot of guy friends. I’m over 50 and it’s difficult to lose 25 years of weight. I never really realized it would turn off a guy who really wanted to be where the Lord had called him. But it does and it has for me. I need to do something about my weight. I really appreciate the kind way you answered him. It encourages me to do what I need to do to be a little more attractive. Thank you for your gentle honesty. I pray that if the Lord chooses someone for me that it won’t be only physical attraction but also the light inside me.

I think what’s been most surprising is how the women writing in say Too Overweight to Love?” is motivating them to lose weight. And do it slowly, intentionally, without all the craziness of eating disorders and crash diets. To God be the glory! I’m so thankful to hear that my own struggle with the scale can inspire other women to be healthier. I pray it will also inspire men to be more open to dating and marrying the godly women in their lives, even those with a few pounds to lose.