“Big Mama” Says God’s Plan for Babies is Best

“Big Mama” got her popular blog name from her daughter who was praised so much for being a “big girl” that she thought calling her mom “big mama” was the nicest thing she could say. Today, Big Mama is a big-time blogger, attracting hundreds of thousands of readers. We thought you’d enjoy reading about her experience starting a family.  

What emotional or practical hurdles did you and your husband have to overcome to start your family?

We were married for five years before we decided to start a family. I think we both were a little afraid of how becoming parents would change the dynamics of our marriage. We both felt strongly about having some years to ourselves as just a couple before committing to raising a child.

There was also the financial factor, but it’s true what people say, if you wait until you feel like you can afford a child, it may never happen. Eventually, we just took the plunge and God has been faithful. It’s the best thing we’ve ever done.

Where did you go for advice; what were your sources of encouragement for getting started?

We had several older couples that have always been voices of reason and encouragement in our lives. It also helped that we waited so long to start our family because many of our close friends had already started their families and their advice was invaluable.

Did you have any unusual cravings during pregnancy?

I absolutely had to start each day with a tall glass of chocolate milk, which is definitely unusual for me. There was also a night that I stopped at the grocery store and came home with a box of a dozen donuts. I won’t tell you how many I ate all by myself, but I’ll tell you that Perry ate two of them and the box was empty. You do the math.

What surprised you most about becoming a mom?

I had no idea how much I could love another human being. From the moment I saw her, I knew that God could give me no greater gift than my daughter.

I was also surprised by how hard it can be to be a mom. I’d watched so many of my friends become mothers and thought I was totally prepared, but I wasn’t. Nothing can prepare you for how much it changes your life.

What is the most annoying toy and/or children’s show that parenthood has brought into your life?

Without a doubt, the show “Caillou.” I don’t need TV to teach my child how to whine.

As for toys, I’m pretty sure that Polly Pockets are of the devil. All those tiny little shoes. My vacuum cleaner will never be the same.

How has having children affected your marriage?

I think watching my husband become a father and seeing how much he loves Caroline just makes me love him that much more. I’m able to see a whole other side of him that I didn’t know existed.

How has having children affected your relationship with God?

When I think about how much I love my daughter and how I would do anything in the world for her, it blows my mind to think that God loves me more than that. It’s given me a whole new appreciation and understanding of the concept of God as our father.

He truly does want to give us every good gift and I can’t fathom how much it hurts Him to watch us hurt.

When do you find time to blog as a mom?

I don’t want to spend my days chained to the computer and get so busy blogging that I neglect real life. I am guilty of it at times, but I’ve gotten much better about it. These days I either blog while Caroline is at school or late at night after everyone is asleep. I’m a night owl, so it works for me.

What advice would you give a couple considering starting a family?

Really seek God on His timing and plan for your family. Sometimes I think we get a vision of how everything should look and what we think we want and we get fixated on that instead of what He has for us. I always thought I’d have more than one child, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. Trust God for what is best for your marriage and your family.

Having a baby can be hard on a marriage, especially in the beginning, so you need to make sure that you and your husband are ready for that step. Ultimately, the best gift you can give your child is a healthy marriage focused on Christ.

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Big Mama’s real name is Melanie and she was born and raised in Houston, Texas. She graduated from Texas A&M University in 1994 and moved to San Antonio, where she began a short-lived career in financial sales. Over the next several years she tried to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. Along the way she met her husband Perry and they spent 10 years leading Campus Life Ministries in their community. They have been married since August of 1997 and true to form for native Texans, still live in Texas. Their daughter, Caroline, was born in August of 2003. Melanie writes daily at thebigmamablog.com. She also contributes regularly to the LifeWay Allaccess blog.