Wedding Fantasy, and Reality

I used to dream about what my wedding would be like; down to the yellow roses in my bouquet and dark grey morning coat of the groom’s tuxedo. I was 12.

It was fun to think about what might be. Anything and everything is possible when it’s in your imagination, with only a stack of bride magazine to fuel the dream. Nothing as pesky as a budget to get in the way of that designer silk shantung gown.

It’s a lot harder to make your dreams come true when faced with the limits of how much money you actually have to spend. Especially when family and friends have expectations of a huge guest list. And you don’t. That’s the setup for today’s Boundless Answers column, Wedding Woes. The questioner writes,

We are set to get married in April 2010 but the money and family demands are driving us crazy. Initially we had agreed on a small wedding of up to 50 people, but as time went by and our families have been involved, this has grown to 200 guests and the budget is not what we can meet. We still want to honor our parents and invite all our relatives but it’s becoming too expensive.

Thankfully this is both problem and opportunity with lots of room to resolve the conflict and improve the relationships. You can read my full reply here.

As for my own wedding, some of what I dreamt came true. But despite all the details that didn’t match my girlhood dream — for budget reasons, as well as changes in styles — the real thing was much better than I had imagined. And that had everything to do with the man I married.

Dancing b _w

And you know that grey coat? It’s the very one Steve picked out for his tuxedo!