When Just Friends is Just Poison

BW columnIn this week’s Q&A I answer a question from a reader who says her heart is increasingly drawn toward two men who explain that they want to be “just friends.”

Should she hold out hope, or move on?

Here’s a taste of my reply,

My inbox is full this week of letters from women like you wondering how they can hold on to their good friendships with men who’ve recently let it be known that friendship is all they’re looking for. I can understand your desire to still spend time with one or both of these friends because up till now,
they’ve filled an important role in your life. …

Friendship is great. It can be a strong foundation for a romantic relationship. I even talk in Get Married about how women often overlook men in the “just friends” category as potential husbands. But if a friendship has stopped progressing from “just friends” to something more—especially if that male friend has come right out and said he does not want anything more (read: romantic)—then at that point, the friendship can go from promising to poisoning.

What does it poison? Opportunities for marriage to someone else.

You can read the full question and answer in “The Poison in ‘Just Friends.'”

Next Monday: Can you just pray away your sex drive? Stay tuned.