Do you feel like family devotions are doomed from the start? Spilled milk, waning attention, wiggles, and more conspire against meaningful discipleship. Is there something authors of family discipleship books know but aren’t telling the rest of us? We asked Jodi Ware, wife of Bruce Ware, author of Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God, what family devotions looked like in their home when their girls were little.
Who were your role models for discipling your children?
Both Bruce and I were remarkably blessed by growing up in the families we did. All four of our parents loved the Lord, and taught and modeled the gospel to their children. We grew up with regular “family devotions” after dinner. These included reading the Bible, perhaps also reading from a devotional book, singing a hymn together, and then praying, including regular prayer for missionaries we knew and loved. We sought to emulate much of what we grew up with when our daughters were born.
What challenges did you have to overcome in your own home?
Scheduling conflicts, distractions, young children—all of these challenges sound woefully familiar. Our main desire was to show our girls the joy that comes from learning about God from His revealed Word. Our unofficial motto was: keep it simple. Bruce usually read a short passage from Scripture, and then asked questions. Both of our daughters are good thinkers, which contributed to—and was perhaps enhanced by—the discussions that took place. We often sang, and then prayed through various requests, for our family, extended family, friends, church, and missionaries.
What can parents with very young children do? How can they lay a foundation for more focused learning later?
Children often pick up far more than we expect. There is great value to training a young child to sit quietly while Mommy reads her Bible. They are able to do this, perhaps looking through a book of their own. They need to see parents making time with the Lord a priority, a regular part of the day.
What advice do you have for parents of school age children who want to start doing family devotions?
Keep things simple. It is far better to have 8-10 minutes regularly than to ambitiously begin with 30 minutes and wear everyone out. As children learn to read, it’s beneficial to have them actively involved in serving the family by reading from the Word, reading from the prayer request list, etc. One thing we did that worked well: we had a notebook in which we listed prayer requests in blue, and answers in red. It was thrilling to rifle through the pages and see all of the red ink. It made a visible statement that God answers prayer. Also, keeping the family schedule simple is helpful. It stands to reason that we honor the authority and primacy of the Word by being sure there is time for that, and not filling the time with things of lesser value. You may find that time at the breakfast table is most conducive, particularly if you follow a homeschooling routine.
How did your formal discipleship time shape faith conversations with your daughters?
We sought to seize opportunities throughout the day, throughout the years, to talk about the Lord. We endeavored to model prayer as the first response when faced with any problem or concern. Questions are a very helpful tool for spiritual conversation. You can ask your child about what some passage is saying (helping them learn to think about passages of Scripture, along with being told what they mean), or how this passage applies to some area of their lives. Engaging them through questions teaches them to think and apply, and gives the parent an opportunity to explain more than they might have been able to without this interaction.
It turns out that authors of books like Big Truths for Young Hearts do not have children who are more willing to be taught. All children are born with the same desperate need for rescue. It’s up to parents to show them their need through study of God’s Word. May we do what’s necessary as parents, spurred on by those who have gone before of us, to persevere in this primary and infinitely important work.
(This interview first appeared at CBMW.org as “Family Devotions in Real Life” on February 13, 2014.)
Jodi Ware is a native Oregonian. She is married to Bruce Ware, professor of theology at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. Bruce and Jodi have two grown daughters and three grandchildren.