It's easy to see the sin in people around us. Especially when it causes us pain. For single women, the temptation is to see all the failings of single men and think "they're the reason I'm not married!" What's harder is looking objectively at sin in our own hearts. That's the subject of my article published today on Boundless called "The Trouble with Men is the Same Trouble with Women." I wrote,
We're quick to notice where men stumble — abdicating their responsibility, abusing their authority, being passive and failing at work — but in our culture, the thing that God said would be a curse on women — desiring to use their strength to displace men — is the very thing our culture esteems. We praise the achievements of women, even when they come at the expense of men. But life isn't a competition, a cosmic matchup of boys vs. girls. We need each other. And for those of us who believe in Christian marriage, especially so.
I hope this article will help single men and women who grew up in a unisex culture figure out how to get married in a way that is consistent with God's design.
If you're already married and are the parents of boys and girls, now is the time to help them think biblically about what it means to be created male and female, with the same essence, but different purposes. I appreciate this article by Doug Phillips because it helps me think more deeply about my own tendency toward unisex child rearing. Turns out it's not helpful. I suspect a lot of frustrated singles would agree.
Here's a snippet:
While boys have to be taught to be protective of their sisters, girls have to be taught to expect that protection. This has to be done in a way that does not inculcate a pampered "entitlement" mindset, but more like a grounding in the way the permanent things are. The differences between the sexes are just there, like gravity.
Boys should be taught that they are to protect their sisters "from the dragon," and the very first thing this means is that they must refrain from turning into the dragon themselves. When the protector turns into the very thing that protection is needed from, the result for the girl involved is nightmarish. ...
There are many marriage problems that began as untended squabbles between siblings.
I hope you'll take a few minutes to read both articles.