Without training, children will learn what is fast becoming the accepted response to every expression of gratitude: No problem. The problem with "No problem," however, is that it misses echoes of the divine when we say "you are welcome."
Read moreStill Learning from Jane Austen
"Looking for my Darcy in a world full of Wickhams." That phrase caught my eye from the front of my friend's t-shirt. I chuckled. And I winced. As a fan of Pride and Prejudice, I got the meaning right away. So few good men, so many jerks. Ah, if only it were that simple. Indeed, the honorable men are often outshone by the dashing cads. But the clever creator of the t-shirt captured only a slice of Miss Austen's razor wit.
Read moreMaternity is Not about Me
“You’ll need proof. Can you get a copy of the death certificate?” I remember the awkwardness of trying to answer that question while booking last-minute plane tickets to North Carolina for my father-in-law’s funeral. Who would fake their dad’s death just to get a discount—and not a very good one at that—on airfare?
Read moreHow to Start Homeschooling
As a long-time homeschooler, friends seek me out when they're seriously thinking about homeschooling. Often they're panicky at the prospect. I can relate. When we decided halfway through our firstborn’s kindergarten year to un-enroll him and teach him at home, my “what now?” phone call was to a homeschooling veteran. She not only successfully homeschooled her own children, she was (and still is) an expert on homeschooling. An author of books about homeschooling and speaker at conferences on homeschooling, she told me to take a deep breath and grab my library card. “If all you do the rest of this school year is get the best children’s literature from the library and read aloud to your son, he will be just fine" she said. "In fact, he’ll likely be ahead of his classmates.”
Read moreQ&A: Is it possible to date my ex's friend?
Question More than a year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. Currently, I am quite interested in another guy that my ex is also friends with. Here’s the dilemma: I don't want to hurt my ex. I was the one that broke up with him. I broke his heart, and even now, I feel so guilty about it. Should I stop what is happening because they know each other, and if my ex sees us together he may be even more hurt?
Read moreWhen Past Plagues Present in Dating
Last week I answered the following from a man worried that his past may have a bleak affect on his future.
Read moreWhat is a Christian Christmas?
I'm so distracted and busy in December. I love to buy gifts for people, and watching all the websites of my favorite stores for good deals is like a game that I can't stop playing. Just when I think I'm done shopping — I have something for everyone on my list — my inbox chimes with new offers, and I start finding reasons that I should keep buying. Is it wrong to buy presents at Christmas? Am I taking away from the spiritual meaning of the holiday by doing all the same things that my unbelieving neighbors do? How do I keep Christ at the center with so many distractions? Is it even possible to have a Christian Christmas anymore?
Read moreThe Pilgrims’ Thanksgiving Secret
It’s good to remember the 1621 Pilgrims of Plymouth, but I suspect they would tell us to look back even further to the source of their thanksgiving. How was it that a small band of believers was able to give thanks when they encountered financial loss, bitter weather, and inadequate food; when half their number died, when they subsisted that first winter on a handful of dried corn kernels each day, when they didn’t know if any would live to see the spring?
Read moreIndian Summer
Indian Summer's unexpected blooming offers hope: delays can hold promise of delight. Sometimes wildly so.
Read moreHow to Bake Bread
Have you ever asked yourself, "Why is my bread like a brick?" "What's the secret to getting the dough to rise?" or "Why is my bread so crumbly?" I've answered these questions in emails, Skype tutorials, and phone calls. The one-word solution to these common problems is practice. But there are some tricks and techniques that make all that practice more productive. If you've ever wanted to bake bread, or have been frustrated in your efforts, here’s a quick lesson.
Read moreHow should you respond if a non-Christian asks you out?
Last week I answered a question from a woman who isn't sure how to turn down a date with an unbeliever. She wrote,
A few weeks ago a non-Christian asked me out. I didn't know he was interested in me, was taken off guard, and didn't know how to respond. I felt very uncomfortable saying, "Sorry, I won't spend time with you because you aren't a Christian." Instead, I made up a lame excuse and left. I'm sure that was not the best way to handle the situation. It certainly wasn't honest. What do you think is the most sensitive and loving way to explain that you only date other Christians?
It's a good question both because it reaffirms the biblical command to only date and marry believers, but also because it reminds us that some ways of saying no are better than others. I replied,
In order to follow through on your desire to date and marry a believer, you must love Christ above all else. He must be more valuable to you than any human relationship — He must be your greatest treasure. Then, rooted in His love and empowered by the Holy Spirit, you will not only have the ability to obey His commands, you will also be able to do so — including saying no to a date with an unbeliever — in ways that testify to your faith.
So what to do in this specific situation you’ve raised? In short, you should reply “No, thank you.” Said with a smile, those three little words are powerful for guarding you from all sorts of undesirable situations. ... sometimes it’s necessary to say more than that. I agree it’s not a good idea to say, “Sorry, I won't spend time with you because you aren't a Christian.” But you can certainly say, “As a Christian, I’m committed to dating only those who share my faith.” A response like this may cause a young man to stop and think, and may open his eyes to the Gospel.
You can read my full answer at Boundless.org.
What we read this summer, or what you might want to read this fall
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Free time for reading is a big part of what makes summer special. This year why not set a reading goal you can work together to achieve?
Read moreOn Farmer Boy and Becoming a Man
Most people think Little House books are for girls. But the main character in the series isn't the plaited second daughter, Laura. It’s Pa. He's the stout-hearted pioneer, the one who forges through the big woods, heading always further west, working tirelessly to make a living for his family. And Farmer Boy is particularly suited to sons.
Read moreHope for marriage when there's so much divorce
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The rise in divorces is not new bad news, nor is it adequate reason to lose hope in marrying for life.
Read moreGood News, Your Kids are Average
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“Everybody thinks their kids are above average. But it can’t possibly be that way because it defies the category of average.” So said one of our friends, a father of eight. It's a needed corrective in our day of hyper-parenting, but no reason to set low expectations for your offspring. I didn't always feel that way about his observation. I tell the story of my change of heart in "Most of Our Children are Average." Here's a snippet:
Just because our kids are average, he says, “doesn’t mean they’re mediocre, or that they need to live a life of mediocrity. It just means we don’t need to bloat their ego or increase their narcissism.”
How then should we parent? How do we encourage our children to be good stewards, to work hard and to do their best in a way that’s not ego-centric? Paul tells us in Colossians 3:17, 23-24, And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. . . . Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
We must shift their focus from themselves to God and shift their motivation from self-glory to God’s glory. If your children have an interest or talent that sets them apart from their peers, thank God for it. And teach your children to do the same. Then encourage them to develop that skill to serve others. Everything they have is from the Lord. Nothing is theirs by their own doing. They (and you) have no reason to boast (1 Cor. 4:7). In fact, the expectation is higher, not for greater success, but for more faithful stewardship. To whom much is given, much will be required (Luke 12:48).
Read the full article at ERLC.com.